12.12.12 and things we all get for Christmas that we never use

I just had to write something, a date like today will never occur again in my lifetime.

I’m not really that fond of the number 12, personally, I prefer the number 42. If you have to ask why, you don’t know me very well. You also don’t know the answer to the the question of the  life, the universe and everything or something like that. I think I read it in a book somewhere.

Today, there is a concert for “Sandy relief” http://www.121212concert.org/ in Madison Square Garden in New York. One of my favorite artists will be performing, of course, that is Eddie Vedder. Yes, I have a man crush on him. Actually, I like the whole package of “Pearl Jam” the band, not just Eddie, he’s cool and all but I really like Pearl Jam as a complete deal.

I suppose it’s mandatory for me to make some sort of list today. Hmmm what should it be..

12 Things You’ll Get for Christmas and Never Use Again:

12. A dvd collection of old movies or tv shows that you’ve never heard of from your weird aunt. Really, who wants to watch 30 hours of “The best of Marty Allen”?

11. That “As Seen on TV” yellow scrubber thingy that really doesn’t work.

10. A new dress shirt. Let’s face it, you wouldn’t wear it, even if it was your size.

9. A box of spearmint candy canes. Spearmint, what? That’s just wrong. They might as well be liver and onion candy canes.

8. The ab belt, let’s face it, you’ll never use thing more than once and when you do, you’ll just hurt yourself because you’re doing it wrong.

7. Fruitcake, come on, no one should eat this stuff. It’s not really food, we all know that right?

6.  An Android tablet running Android 1.2 (Angry Donut – I think that’s what that version is called, I could be wrong) , no it’s not the iPad. It can barely load a website in under a half an hour and when it does it force closes. Forget trying to play Angry Birds, the birds get stuck in the air, if you ever get the application to launch.

5. A desk calendar of cats dressed in costumes. Sure this is cool, you’ll use it everyday right?

4. A Wii U – ok, this might be a stretch, but honestly how often did you play your original Wii right? That third time after you played bowling or Mario Cart was fun but come on, after a week you’ll stop using it. (I wish really got a Wii U – I would actually use it, I just wrote this so someone will give me their Wii U).

3. An iPhone 5, what a piece of junk, come on just give it to me, I’ll take care of it for you. (You must admit, it was worth a shot right?)

2. One of those dancing Christmas toys that sings “Santa Claus is coming to town” it’s one of those mentally challenged looking Snowmen, with crossed eyes and when it moves it looks like it’s having a seizure.

1. __________ fill in the blank, there are countless things we all get or give for Christmas that we really know deep down that it’s just pure crap. What really matters is that we’re spending time with the ones we love, right? Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Dennis

12.12.12 and things we all get for Christmas that we never use
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The Real Dennis Stangl