Ok, like most people on the planet who like Star Wars, I’ve seen the new movie The Force Awakens and loved it. I could post a ton of spoilers here, but I’m not going to yet. You can just google the words Star Wars and get that yourself.

In fact, I’ve seen it twice and plan to buy it on BluRay as soon as it’s available.

It’s only the second Star Wars movie I’ve seen near the release. The first being The Phantom Menace. I admit at the time, I was sort of a Star Wars fan. I had only seen parts of the original movies. That was soon remedied by my college dorm mates. We had a marathon of movies and watched all three of the original movies in one shot.

Then in 1999 or whenever the movie with Jar Jar was released, I stood in line to see it. There were a few people dressed up in costumes and they seemed to love it while it was being played. Honestly, I don’t think the prequels are all that bad, I mean come on, they are Star Wars movies after all. They just have a wee bit too much CGI.

Ok, here’s what I find wrong with the prequels.

The Phantom Menace (Star Wars: Episode I The Phantom Menace) – it has Jar Jar. Enough said. There’s a lot of other problems with this movie, but that alone makes it kind of shitty.

That second movie – um, Star Wars: Episode II Attack of the Clones. It’s just boring and I’m sure the internet will correct me but doesn’t this have that weird scene where Anakin seduces that princess what’s her name? Lame. Also, doesn’t it have Ninja Yoda? That’s just wrong. I didn’t see this movie until years after it came out. I don’t know why.

The third movie, I forget the name (Star Wars: Episode III Revenge of the Sith), lets call it Becoming Darth. It’s okay. I actually like this one but honestly I don’t remember too much of it other than seeing how Anakin becomes Darth Vader. Again, I’ve only recently (within the last year or so) seen this movie.

So, if some real Star Wars fan, reads this their head might just explode and write me a lengthy message about how wrong I am. Ask me if I care.

Now, back to the new movie. It’s awesome, and I’m excited to see Star Wars VIII.

I love all of the original trilogy. Star Wars IV, the New Hope is my favorite and my second favorite is the one with the hostile teddy bears, Return of the Jedi. The Empire Strikes Back is ok, but to me it’s just a filler movie in between the other two. Yes, it’s where Luke almost gets zapped in the balls while training with Yoda and a bunch of other stuff, but it’s not my favorite. It’s also where the most famous, line in all of the franchise is said, “No, I am your father” not “Luke, I’m your father.” If you don’t believe me, watch this:


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